mero sopana

I can't believe it's been a month since I last updated. I hope people can take some time to read these even though they are long... because when I get home and people ask 'how was Nepal?' I won't really know how to respond.
Reading my last blog I noticed how rushed and excited I was to try and convey what was going on. Now that I'm settled into my family and village, things are less "shocking," but nontheless, everyday is still a new adventure.
For instance, about a week or so ago I woke up early to eat breakfast and go to school and it was pouring, pouring rain. It had been raining all night. I walked down the road but the road had become one long stream of water. I thought it was funny until I walked to the bottom of the hill and discovered that where there was once a giant field of rice patties, there was a HUGE river. All these men were standing at the edge of it looking totally clueless. Luckily one woman who worked at a T.V. station in Kathmandu directed me to take off my shoes, hold her hand, and walk across with her. Won't lie: I sometimes thought I would fall and get washed away. But I forded the river and got to school. When I asked her if a lot of people won't go to work today because of the flooding, she told me that Nepali women always go to work, no matter what. She didn't say anything about the men I had seen starring cluelessly at the dirty, brown, rapids.
So yeah, that's walking to school.
A not-so-exciting but more entertaining adventure was our trip to the U.S. Embassy for our "saftey" briefing, conveniently held the week following the bombings in Kathmandu. First of all, the inside of the building was so clean and gleamed in the flouresent light... I felt like I was literally thrown back into the States. It was culture shock for sure. We passed the neatly hung murals of the gang: Bush, Cheney, and Rice, and entered an air-conditioned, well-lit conference room. Our briefing was SO brief. And I tried not to laugh at the information they provided. This lady told us that the Maoists are a terrorist group (even though they have resigned their weapons to the U.N. and have successfully joined the government as a political party) and that we should stay away from them at ALL costs. 'What does a Maoist look like, you ask?' she said (we didn't ask) 'Well, they usually wear red. Like... a red bandana. But you don't really know if someone is a Maoist or not. But stay away from them.' Then she told us she thought in the comming months there will be "chaos" and "violence." She could barely name one Maoist organization, and even then it was only the YCL (Young Communist Leauge). The only place in Kathmandu she could reference was Thamel, which is where all the western tourists stay. It was obvious that this woman had never been outside Kathmandu, let alone the Embassy.
Oh yeah. and also, the most important information we can learn in Nepal (according to security lady) is... the telephone number of the Embassy. She was shocked to find out we don't have cellphones on us so that we could call them at a moments notice. So her alternative in case we were in danger was... to run.
We hadn't even been in Nepal for a month, but the fact that we collectively knew more about what was going on in Nepal and how to be safe than the U.S. government was just hilarious. But at the same time it was scary to see how Bush's "terrorism" campaign legistically works in other countries.
If you are wondering about the Kathmandu bombings, don't worry about me. I'm safe in our small village of Balkot away from he hussle and bustle of the city. Besides, I don't like Kathmandu too much. There are piles upon piles of old stinking garbage and crowds of people. I really prefer my quiet village life.
Speaking of such, I haven't even menioned my family. My Nepali name is Rita Thapa ("Thapa" is a Chetri name) and I live in Changathali in the Bhaktapur district. "Changa" means kite, and every evening when I walk back from school I watch all the little boys from the village fly their kites in the rice patties. I have an "aamaa" (mother) who is just hilarious, a "daai" (older brother) who is 35 or so and works as some sort of electritian during most of he day. He's usually on the quiet side but lately he's really taken an interest in talking to me about Nepali culture which is exciting. His wife, my "bauju," also lives with us. She is in her late 20s and does most of the household cooking and chores, but she is really just a little girl on the inside. She serves me warm milk (from our cow) in the mornings after tea and I let our kitten (who my niece appropriately named "Meow") sleep and purr in my lap. We talk about clothes and makeup and boys and other girlie stuff. She usually wears checkered dresses and puts her hair in braids, and will gaze out the window of the kitchen as she cooks... and at night I can hear her singing outside as she washes the dishes. Right now she's at her father's house for the holiday season, but I miss her a lot.
My daai has two children. Rejina is 6 and she's adorable (although she cries a lot) her school is right next to our house and I've been there a couple times to visit her teachers and friends. When I played Daft Punk for her one night, she couldn't stop giggling. Needless to say we had a little dance party in my room.
Rejina's brother, Rajiv, is 7. His English is so much better than Rejina's. He also goes to a different private school farther away. He is fun, clever, and full of energy, but very violent. He loves watching WWF on T.V. I try and tell him to stop hitting his sister, but it sometimes just feels useless. I love coming home from school and hearing them yell "Rita didi! Rita didi!" (didi means older sister) But it's also exhausting having little kids in the house all the time.
We also have a cow, a baby calf (so cute!) two dogs, and "Meow." And that's just the family at our house. I have about 30 or so other relatives that have come for visits during the holiday season.
Healthwise, I'm lucky. I haven't had any problems besides irregular digestion, (as in, not digesting... my family's diet is basically potatoes and rice) and LOTS of mosquito bites... mostly on my feet. I lost my bugspray early in the program, but I'm not even sre that would help.
The gender differences are really starting to challenge me now. My aamaa expects me to be home no later than 6:30. Girls can't be out when it starts getting dark. I have no problem respecting these wishes, but I want to spend time talking to the villagers, too. Most of the frustration stems from the language gap. But now things are smoother.
Two days ago we had a speaker come in and talk to us about the festival of "Tij" and women in Nepal. We asked her all sorts of questions about abortion, pregnancy, sex education, birth control, marriage, menstruation, etc. Most of the answers were shocking only because the woman came from a whole different worldview than we did. Roxy straight up asked if she thought, in general, men have it better than women in Nepal. She said no because women get to wear 'decorations and ornaments.' Her explanation made my head spin.
When women menstruate they can't touch certain things and have to be kept out of the cooking areas and other sacred things. Pregnant women can't live in the house. And during the first menstruation in some of the rural villages the girls are placed in the barn by themselves and often get very sick. The speaker was a nurse, but she couldn't tell us the major forms of birth control here. I know I only despair because I'm a "western" woman, but there are so, so many young people in Kathmandu now who are stepping out of traditional roles who could really benefit from sex education.
The whole festival of "Tij" itself seems like a contradition to me. The women don't work, wear all red, bracelets, jewelry, etc. and dance all day. They also fast, but they fast to ensure that their husband has a long, healthy life. I fasted for Tij yesterday, and everyone kept saying "you will have a good husband," but really, when I thought about eating, I would rationalize whether or not I really "needed" a good husband. And what makes a "good" husband? My didi, Nani, told me the other night she was so scared for her arranged marriage. She told me she liked "love marriage" better. And when I asked my 17 year old cousin Sunita what a good husband is to her, she said one who doesn't drink a lot. So yeah, she has high expectations.
When people ask if I like love marriage or arranged marriage more, I say I like both. Here marriage is purly economical, and there is something to be said for learning to love someone over time. Your husband is your family... he's a part of it and you grow to love him no matter what. I also told Nani that in love marriages, sometimes people have very high expectations and the whole thing ends in disaster.
I have visited sooo many temples and seen so many fall celebrations already! My family back home would be happy to know I celebrated Rosh Hashana! My friend Marky read from the Torah (in Hebrew AND Nepali!) and we ate apples and honey during tea break.
I'm feeling very detatched from friends back home, since I know they are busy starting school and such, but I would love to get an email from you, even a short one, telling me how life is and such...life at the pitz and skiddy and the nati and athens. My email: laura_chernin@pitzer.edu
Every single night I have vivid dreams about people from home. I think my mind is trying to live in Nepal and America at the same time. So I never really sleep here. I just live and dream.
Next week I'm going to Chetwan National Park! I'm so excited because it's in the Terai region and we haven't been there yet. It's going to be SO hot, but hopefully I'll get to ride an elephant!
I think of you all so much and each and every day. Know I'm thinking of you here on the other side of the world.
"No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path." -Buddha
All my Maya,
Laura